yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Sorry my hands just texted you
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
