areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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