My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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