And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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