I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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