I want to make a zoo with you.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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