my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
