Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
