tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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