Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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