why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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