R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Rumble strips road head = magical
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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