Please, let me fuck your mom
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
