yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
