Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
