We're facebook friends in real life
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
NoShamevember. You game?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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