I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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