True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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