god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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