I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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