Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize