i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
