omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
