your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
