If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize