very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
