I accidentally had phone sex last night
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
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