high people should be assigned attendants
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
