I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
