I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
