I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
