grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
