He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
