It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
