its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Randomize
