my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
where are my eyebrows?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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