Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm passing your future prison.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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