college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
