Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
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