Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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