why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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