Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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