i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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