you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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