my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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