found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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