omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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