I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
