You were right. It hurts to walk today.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
