So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
