The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
