it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
