She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
