it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Randomize
