adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
