I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's never too late to be topless.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
