u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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