I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
