i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
