I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
