my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
