ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
