But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize