its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
