I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
