So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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