I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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