I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
