Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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