I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
