i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
