The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize