I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
