i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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