Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
