Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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