We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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