If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize