just survived the first fart of the relationship.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
